Sinilli awoke a little confused. Then he remembered Kimberly stabbing him in the gut with an enchanted blade. Then he remembered his seemingly endless dreams of the war against the Paladins, his run from the Paladin Plain into Mysearia. Alora shifting him to McTon in Hayden. And finally his battles with the dark warrior, Sev, near the city of Mysearia.
Sinilli looked up to see a human, not quite a boy nor a man, riding his brown horse at a slow trot. Sinilli tried to get the human's attention. But no matter how hard he shouted, the boy didn’t look at him.
Finn walked in front of Sinilli. He spoke “Sinilli, Kimberly took your soul out. Sinilli are you listening? I spent the last one hundred and fifty years looking for the knife that your soul was trapped in.” He lifted up a clear knife “You need to sleep; the world isn’t ready for you again. Don’t worry you will be safe in the library of Mar.” He paused then said “Krel Aldo. I sorry but I can’t endanger your life. You are an important asset to Mysearia. As so you can’t be killed.”
Finn gripped the knife so hard that his knuckles turned white. “I’m sorry.” He apologized and stabbed Sinilli’s soul with a soul knife. Trapping it with in its enchanted blade. Chanting the words to take him to the library of Mar. He started to cry thinking about how the survival of all Mysearia lay in the hands of a young boy, barely over sixteen.
Once in the library Finn handed the knife to Trent Draken’Vaz. Who with out saying anything set it high up on the top shelf of a long forgotten book case. Finn then grabbed a magical stone, with the Kalakara rune on it, and placed it on his chest. Wordlessly, Finn Myr’Kraz slowly turned himself to stone. And there he waited until Sinilli Valavada, the last Paladin, was needed again

And then he remembered that you are not supposed to make new topics in the Dropped Eggs! area of the forums as that is essentially where topics go to die or that are dead, therefore this topic must be on the verge of being dead because it was created here! I will move it this time, but never create a new topic here again, and avoid posting in the cracked eggs portion unless you have a very strong opinion on such things as were talked about in the topic.

Hahahahahaha... but do you like it.

It is interesting, but it doesn't seem to quite make sense. How would he know when to stop being stone? And how WOULD he stop being stone?

from Trent Draken'Vaz

Well, I guess that makes sense, but there are a boatload of ways to improve the story which definitely need to be done. First of all lengthen this bit and make it more apparent that Trent is there and will bring them back, but try to keep the cliffhanger of the "till he is needed" thing just because. I think this is a very interesting story and I think it has a little potential, but it needs some serious editing to reach the point it needs to be at.

Can you do that and PM me it.

I was hoping you could do some of that yourself, it is your story after all, but if you want me to I will, I just don't have time to right now, I'll probably do it a bit later. I still have to write a script myself, and I have homework I need to do. I want to write a book, I just don't know what to write about! I wish I didn't have so much homework, it is such a pain! The main things that need to be done to lengthen it is make the part where he is awake a tad longer, and make it have interesting yet rather simple grammar.

After I rewrite it, can you edit it for me?

I guess so, I just have to find the time, and I can do the rewrite if you would rather I did.

how 'bout you and me both do the rewrite and I will take the better

Hahahahaha, maybe.

c'mon it is a good Idea

Well, sure it is a good idea, I just don't know if I have the time. I'll get back to you on that!

Cool story! (Does this mean you'll be the Master for the Paladin class?? :) )